Feminist? Can you elaborate please?

So I want to extend a branch off of the gender roles topic and continue with it while incorporating this week's theme of consumption. Our professor has stressed the importance of thinking critically many times, especially in the things we consume. I will expand on consumption more in my next post, but I want to touch on it just a bit in relation to gender roles.

First, the class discussion we had was very helpful in understanding how different people in the class feel about gender roles and its evolution in our society. Most agree that women today have a lot of expectations they didn't always have in the United States. Since the feminist and women's rights movements, what it means to be a woman has changed. Most women agree that our gender has come a long way to get where it is today in American society and we should proud of our accomplishments in the business world. With this idea, I could not agree more; however, I believe there are two ends of the spectrum.

As a mother myself and a college student with strong goals for my future career and personal life, I know it is not easy to find that "middle ground" and I sometimes feel like I am looked down upon because I try to find that place. According to Meriam-Webster online, feminism is "the theory of political, economic, and social equality of the sexes," and "organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests." Well, what the heck does that even mean?! To a lot of women, it means being equal to men in every aspect of their lives. But I argue that no matter what there are just some things women will never be equal to men in and vice versa, this idea; however, does not necessarily put restrictions on women's places in the business world. I think the word "interests" is very important in evaluating my gender. What are women's interests? For some, their interests are being "successful" in the business world and holding positions that have been for generations held by men. For others their interests lie in becoming as educated as they possibly can. And for others still, it means having a family. So we are stuck in a world today where you are either the woman who is at the head of a big business firm (the stereotypical "feminist" fighting for her "equal" position in society)  or you are the woman at home with her children (the "anti-feminist"). I want to ask this question: why do you have to be one or the other? And why does it make you anti-feminist if you are happy having a family, especially if that is where your "interests" as a woman lie? Does it make you submissive or any less important or less "equal" if that is what you want for your life? Some women say yes it does. Take a look at the picture below. It was used by a classmate for our mass media board on pinterest. I got into a debate with a classmate about its meaning.

This is an ad for Skyy Vodka with a woman lying on her back with a man in a suit standing over her (in the missionary sexual position). My classmate said the woman in the picture is being portrayed in a demeaning way. She said she is submissive to the man in the picture and his position makes it clear that he is the dominant character. She does not think women should put themselves in this position in our society because of how hard we have had to work to get where we are today. She also said this woman would not be the woman you see in the boardroom. Says who? There are lots of women with blonde hair, big boobs, and brains. Perhaps using our curves as a distraction will put men off guard and move us up the business ladder faster. There's some food for thought. 

Now, I already said we were debating (and it was a nice debate if I say so myself). I said that if my husband was ever able to give me the lifestyle I envision for myself without having to work myself, then I would gladly enjoy my time at home soaking up the summer sun. I don't think this makes me anymore submissive as a woman if it a choice that I have consciously made. I think a woman in this position has more power than she is being given credit for. First of all, every situation is different. She doesn't have her own money, but her husband's (or lover's or boyfriend's ... whatever you want to call him), so automatically people say she is in a very vulnerable position because she cannot provide for herself if something should happen to their relationship. This may be true, but just as the man in the picture can find a "new bikini" to sport, she can find a "new suit" too.

I think the division between women in general is very upsetting. Our gender "fights" for equality while pushing each other down in order to get there. We "want" to be "equal" to men, but we don't allow ourselves to be equal to each other and that speaks loudly to our behavior as a female community. I have a two-year-old daughter, I am a full-time college student, and I plan on going to medical school. I feel like just being a mother is not "good enough" for my gender. Yes, you can be a mom, but you have to be educated and have a high paying job too. Why? Why do we look down on those women who are different from us? Stay-at-home moms aren't very fond of "the feminist" and the professional woman pities the stay-at-home mom. I think we ask too much of ourselves as women. Men cannot bear children, only women can. It seems like in today's society it is a mandate to not only be educated, but be a mother too. So here we are ladies working full-time, going to school full-time and still playing the role of "mom," and if we don't do that we are inferior to our own kind while men can still play the same role they always have. Being a feminist lies in the "interests" of women, so don't look down on a woman who has made a choice for herself. After all, that is her "interest."

The idea of feminism and what it means to be or not be a feminist is all around us in everything we expose ourselves to. We "consume" this image of what it means to be a woman on a daily basis. From the shape of Barbie Dolls, to pink and blue clothes for boys and girls, to the toys we play with as children, the magazines we read,and the television we watch. It's all there. Making a choice for yourself is a feminist action, even if it's not the traditional "feminist" decision.